I’m not one of those who complain about how badly people abuse our wonderful language. That’s too easy a target and there are already enough language-snipers ready to shoot down every piece of incorrect spelling, every verb that gets turned into a noun and every misplaced apostrophe. Come on guys, it’s a living language. If you want strict adherence to an unchanging vocabulary and grammar then take up Latin.
But what sticks out to me like the proverbial are incomplete sentences. I don’t mean exclamations like the Homeric “doh!” (Homer was Latin wasn’t he? So that must be OK. Or was he Greek? No difference.) No, what bugs me are questions that get ambushed halfway through, leaving you with nothing to anchor a response to. Like “Would you like large fries with that or?” and “Do you think this dress suits me or?”
When someone leaves a question hanging with a dangling “or” like some dog without a tail, I just smile attentively and wait. I don’t even ask “or what?” I’m a very patient man with plenty of spare time so I just wait. We’re supposed to have one of the world’s most advanced education systems and people don’t even know how to phrase a simple disjunction. Go figure.
It’s not just questions either: so-called sentences like “My bad” and “Later” cause the same annoyance. Whether it is laziness or incompetence, the speakers should be shot. Period.
My father hates it when the wait-person says “Enjoy.” And how! But he’s as grumpy as. So maybe that doesn’t count.
Typing with one finger on a numeric keypad might be a good reason for keeping SMS messages short. But do we have to speak with the same lack of eloquence? I know it’s common in linguistic circles to point out that “You can verb anything,” but I haven’t heard it said that “You can leave questions half.” As if!
Anyway, enough said. Toodles.