My contribution to my mother’s funeral, Tuesday 10 July 2018, at St Paul’s Anglican Church, Turvey Park.
Firstly, I’d like to thank all the people here today for their comfort and support. For Scott and the community of St Paul’s. For the many words of encouragement from friends who couldn’t be here, including Facebook friends who were also important to mum. For Rosalie joining us today via Skype. For Bruce and Val and Doug who have travelled from Sydney and Ipswich to be here.
Thank you on Mum’s behalf for honouring her. And thank you on our family’s behalf for your kindness in words and actions over the past few weeks.
I first met Val Clarke when I was quite young. (I think I used that joke at my father Barry’s funeral, here in St Paul’s 6 years ago.)
Five decades ago my mother held Janet and I as babies. She fed us, held us, comforted us, wiped our bums. And over the last couple of months we have done the same for her.
That is the shape of life.
On the front of the service sheet it shows mum’s life from birth in 1935 to death in 2018. As others have pointed out, the importance of each of our lives is not in those two dates, however, but in the hyphen. 1935 hyphen 2018.
What did mum do during the hyphen?
Mum was born in Sydney and grew up there until after she married Barry. They left city life and bought a dairy farm in Berry in 1966 and lived there for 8 years. Then 16 years in Denman, 10 years in Hawks Nest and the last 8 years here in Wagga.
Mum trained as a teacher, specialising in educating deaf children. She and Barry fostered a deaf boy – Norman – whom Janet and I recall as a big brother during our early years. During the late 1970’s she managed a school for disabled children in Musswellbrook.
Mum was very musical. She loved to sing and was often called on to play piano for sing-alongs, church services and for choirs. She was part of the Country Women’s Association choir.
The CWA is one of several community service organisations mum was part of.
- She was on CWA committees in Berry and Denman. Acted in CWA dramatic competitions
- In the early days of Meals on Wheels – before that was professionalised and regulated but a real community-based service – she and dad helped to establish the service in Hawks Nest.
- Mum was a Brownie leader and leader trainer.
- Even near the end of her life, mum was active in community service as the president of the Riverina Gums resident’s association.
In my early days I always remember mum in the kitchen. Preserving fruit. Making jam. I loved her ginger cake! And her Christmas cake!
And she was also very crafty. I was never without a home-made jumper. And apart from having a black belt in knitting, mum did cross-stitch, long stitch, crocheting and half a dozen other things Janet can tell you about.
In this Chinese puzzle box, in a hidden compartment, mum kept three of her most precious memories: Janet’s first tooth, my first tooth, and a Dedication card printed by the Christian Endeavour Union marking the day in 1950 when she received Christ as her saviour.
As a Methodist, Mum knew Wesley’s Covenant Prayer, part of which reads:
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
It was with that dedication to Jesus and to service of others that mum lived. And that remained true even after she married an Anglican!
Throughout her life, mum was an active part of the church: sitting on committees, organising fetes, encouraging the minister, supporting the Bible Society and other mission organisations, playing the organ, and making slices for morning teas.
But mum’s faith was expressed equally – or more – through hospitality, through listening, and through quiet words of kindness to everyone around her.
Val Clarke was also a mother and grandmother. She was a friend to many gathered here today, lending strength to others when they needed it. She will be missed by many people. One of mum’s longest-standing friends has joined us today from Sydney – Aunty Jan and her sister Val knew my mum from the time they were born.
My friends always commented on the warmth of welcome and inclusion whenever they visited my family. When I was between 18 and 25, I would often invite groups of friends to my parent’s farm near Denman over the June long weekend. Mum never fussed about on those weekends but took time to show her real interest in my friends. The house didn’t have to be perfect, but it was always relaxed and welcoming. There would be plenty of food and fun, and everyone would be brought into the embrace of a caring home. Visitors would be included in the chopping and cooking and cleaning, and through that they were put at ease and included in the nourishment of shared service.
And so … that hyphen between 1935 and 2018 needs to be drawn in thick pen. Not a brief casual stroke but a rich, resolute, generous and ornate flourish: a hyphen that attests to good old-fashioned virtues like gentleness, politeness, creativity, compassion, steadfastness and serenity. A quietly understated, but inspiring hyphen.
That is the shape of a Christ-filled life.